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[07 Jan 2008|01:25pm] |
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its been 6 months, i should be over this.
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[04 Jan 2008|11:39am] |
i msgd you yesterday, to a number i dont think you use anymore, but i did it
" i know its been 6 months but what you did was real shit and hurtful, i should hate you but i dont, i still feel stuff for you and i dont know why"
thats what i said
no reply but i did it.
oh my oh my.
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[17 Dec 2007|07:08pm] |
its not like you would even want me now anyway...
its clear to see your moving on just fine.
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[09 Dec 2007|06:49pm] |
i asked my friend what she saw whenever she saw us together, she said
" two people who looked as though they knew the very core of each other"
gosh...
i miss you today.
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[29 Nov 2007|03:54pm] |
5 months have passed and im still alive, without you.
good effort by me.
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[27 Nov 2007|06:51pm] |
somedays i wonder, i wonder if it was all real, if parts of my life even happened. i look at the now and even if i think its not great, sometimes its better than what i ever had. somedays i am the happiest i have been in a very long time. i smile and laugh and i dont think about you. you were and still are a big part of me but i, i need to let go. i know ive been saying that for months, but now, now i think for once ive stopped missing you. i still love you but i, i dont miss you as much anymore. this is my turning point, my fork in the road, call it what you must but i call it getting you out of my system. but i have so many questions that will remain unanswered until i am brave enough to msg you.
i wonder if you ever felt the pain i feel. if it hurt the same way, in the same spots.
i hope it did.
today, i am happy. i have a new you. everythings falling to pieces around me but i have him and he makes it okay. he is my saving grace. he is the person you could never be.
i think im doing good these days, for once in a long time..... i am okay with everything
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[20 Nov 2007|09:30pm] |
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You still drip from my pores, You still sink beneath the surface you used to graze, You still remain in every part of my day, You still, in some way make it hard for breath to catch within me, You still are the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life.
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[14 Nov 2007|01:39pm] |
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- Ryan; 3:16 -another member of the dysfunctional family. Aftermath Dynasty; says: lol, but i was thinkin the other day how slow we took things. it was good. you know. just a kiss, then slowly more and more each time. - Ryan; 3:16 -another member of the dysfunctional family. Aftermath Dynasty; says: it was good like that. i just want to finish what we started, it felt different doing those things with you
one word. WHOAAA
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[11 Nov 2007|10:50pm] |
im going to msg you.
i need to you.
i need to let go, for real.
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[07 Nov 2007|07:52pm] |
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i found these today.....
in these moments i was completely and unimaginably happy.
i never thought how soon and fast it would end.
us five months ago, the second last day i saw you,
how was i to know you were going to leave me?
how do i know if it was ever real?
they are the worst photos of us but they are all i have and you have no idea how much i miss you or need you back.
i know i shouldn’t. i know your bad and you keep hurting me.
almost five months of silence is killing me slowly
but your still very much there in my life.
everything always comes back to you
i loved you. i love you still
i just wish you knew that
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[07 Nov 2007|02:14pm] |
i went on your mysapce for the first time in ages today.
i miss you, still.
but the sad thing is, you havent even noticed i deleted you...
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[29 Oct 2007|08:49pm] |
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i just miss you.
everything about you, i miss.
i miss the way you picked me up and carried me out of the airport, the silly face yu gave me when the sniffer dog was attacking your bag. the way you wore your cap backwards. your kiss, soft. your hands. your eyes. your smell. the softness of your cheek on mine. the way you drove my car. the way you held me when we went to sleep. your girl laugh. the way your head rested in my neck, the way i fitted just right up against you. the way your shirt looked on me. the face you gave me when i got in the shower with you. the song you sang. the way you fitted all your clothes in a backpack, the cd you gave me. your smile. the way you loved me. the way i knew that. your hands in mine. the way you never spoke much as we drove to the airport. the way you pinched my bum in the movies. the way your arm was around me. the way you cooked pasta and burnt it.. when you wore shorts in winter. the way you warmed me up whenever i came into bed cold. when you still smiled and i was crying the day you left. the way i still could smell you days after you were gone. the way you fixed me when i was broken. everything and so much more i cant even write down.
its sad but nothings changed except, i dont cry as much anymore.
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[29 Oct 2007|08:32pm] |
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somedays i want the emptiness to go away so bad
but others,
i want it to stay,
so i remember why i am the way i am.
its been four months since you left today.
i remember everything.
it just hurts, constantly.
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[26 Oct 2007|05:53pm] |
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i forgive you, both of you.
i needed to write that down.
i am yet to say it out loud,
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[22 Oct 2007|02:33pm] |
she wants back in....
i dont know what to do.
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[21 Oct 2007|10:37pm] |
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today, i forgot you.
but then i remembered everything.
and i hated myself for losing you
if only for those few hours.
nothings been right since you left........nothing at all
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[11 Oct 2007|11:49am] |
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somedays, i have to hate you.
its makes it easier....
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[21 Sep 2007|10:16am] |
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i have to lie to myself to make it better.
i have to tell myself it was all a lie.
you didnt love me
and i
didnt love you.
but i do.
and you did.
and when it was good, it was
amazing.
im not sure what parts were
real or
fake
but those 4 months were the
best of my life
i wish i could make you want me again.
i wish it was all okay
because i miss you
and this hurts
and i cant do this.
i love you. i always have.
i wish you knew that
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[21 Sep 2007|10:07am] |
ive forgotten how you smell, how you talk, how you look at me, how you laugh, the way you held me
its all gone....
how do i get it back?
im not strong enough for this, it wont go away.
you walked away from me.
you said you loved me yet you are able to just walk away.
how does that work?
im still in love with you.
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[12 Sep 2007|11:52am] |
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im more hurt by you not speaking to me than the fact your never around
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